Dating with a secret…
Hello everyone. Welcome back to my blog, third post ever !! 😁 of course you would have read my last two and are now back in anticipation for my third?! (🤞🏻🤞🏻) ha
This blog is for anyone (at all) but, specifically anyone who has a disability, or a hang up, worry about any part of your fine being that you shy away from, or for whatever reason are scared to share or ‘meet’ someone with this issue you have? People who matter I.e YOURSELF are all you need to be concerned with, be confident about the imperfections, they make you….be proud, find those wings and fly beautiful.
If you had read my first blog, you would’ve read that I was only born with one hand. Which as I have said before has no affect on me, or my life whatsoever… Well apart from the fact I physically don’t have a left hand, 🤷🏼♀️ And I have to drive an automatic car, and French plats… They are a tricky one too. But, Of course at school I was bullied. You can guess the imaginative little treats they’d come up with? One arm bandit….was the most original?!🤦🏼♀️ Yawn* But, in my daily life, it really hasn’t been as bad as some of you may expect? The bullying, just made me stronger, (gave me my sass!💕) The one time where it became a ‘thing’ was online dating. Not because I’m ashamed, just because, yes, it can be tricky. It’s such a small thing to myself and others who know me, Friends forget, even my daughter still gives me a knife for dinner??? 🤔 haha. It’s something that actually is never thought about. However, there are some shallow pig ignorant people out there and you worry meeting someone online, that may be that pig?
How I handled my pig! 🐷
So it was a few years ago now, my first experience with Tinder. When it was all new and, you would never speak the T word . “So, Where did you meet?” Myself and him both at same time ME: “In the gym” HIM: “at a bar” 👀. hmmmm, they do that puzzled pause- (bring on awkward silence) then you see in their faces that….penny drops. Dam it, they know we met online! That is how it used to be. But it’s all very different now, it’s a big thing, THE thing to do?
So, I matched with this guy, we text away on Tinder, practically essays to each other. Although, I was not comfortable telling him about my arm over text, I wanted to do this face-to-face. Why? I don’t know? He was very suave looking, loads of character, The connection was crazy. Then We had long phone calls, I still at this point did not want to tell him about my arm? Crazy right, why is this such a secret? I should’ve just told him, it’s who I am. we arranged to meet. At the bar, he noticed my arm, almost immediately which is very rare, people don’t notice for ages sometimes. Well, he became a different person, he barely spoke he looked terrified? like it had just dropped off and fallen right in front of him.? Didn’t even offer me a drink ?? Later on he just disappeared? Charming!
The following day he said he didn’t want to see me again,didn’t think we connected?? Really, was I laughing and joking with voices in my head? For weeks then! I knew why immediately in very few words it was obvious, Freaked him out? Maybe wasn’t cool enough he needed a trophy girlfriend with all parts attached? 🤷🏼♀️ Who knows, but it was my first real experience of a man freaking about my arm. It did make me realise, you are always going to meet people that have a problem with something, may it be your colour, your religion, your age, your disability, anything…So rather than letting this upset me, I responded in a smart way, let’s just say made him feel very small 😜 I ended up being so confident about it, actually I grew a bit more from it, realising that, there will be ignorant pigs who are like this always! Be better than them. Respond well. I guess what I’m trying to say, is it doesn’t matter what is wrong with you there will always be somebody has a problem. Silly things, it’s human behaviour. It’s how you deal with it, it’s hard but dealing with some people, if it hurts, use that to grow. Be better, because you are
Deal with the 🐷s. I know my worth. This is how I deal with it, I grow.